Some people might say that anyone with enough self-confidence to wear a pink tie could rule the world. That observation might get a laugh without too much forethought. It is said that something in a person's experience makes him or her laugh, or not.

P.J. O'Rourke, author of The New York Times best sellers, Parliament of Whores and Give War a Chance was the guest speaker recently at the May 2008 graduation ceremonies at the Thomas Jefferson Independent Day School on Newman Road in Joplin.

Laughs are what were observed on May 28, 2008, during an address by P.J. O'Rourke at the twelfth commencement ceremonies at Joplin's Thomas Jefferson Independent Day School. But in some cases that depended upon what he said

O'Rourke, the H.L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute, a conservative/libertarian think tank located in Washington, DC, was invited by Debra and David Humphreys, founders of the private school. Ethelmae Humphreys, David Humphrey's mother (Tamko Building Products chairman of the Board), is on Cato's board of directors as is David Koch, an owner of Koch Industries, a privately held but very influential multi-billion dollar company headquartered in Wichita, KS, and brother of Charles Koch who founded the institute in 1977 with Edward Crane, editor and financial analyst.

A former editor-in-chief of National Lampoon and contributor to Rolling Stone magazine as well as other very recognizable publications, O'Rourke claims to have had an epiphany after growing up in the '60s as a left-leaning hippie leaving him to take the conservative side in a point/counterpoint discussion more recently.

O'Rourke, who said he was a Republican/Conservative, admitted to being a "Libertarian" with a small "l," and suggested that there was "not one theory to explain life."

Graduating members of the Class of 2008 of Thomas Jefferson Independent Day School stand for the national anthem during commencement ceremonies. Graduating summa cum laude out of a class of 22 are Summer Lynn Davidson, Allison Shoshana Fraum, Caitlin Shea Miller, Joseph Birch Newman and Elaina Kathleen Reinsvold.

In his address O'Rourke threatened the about-to-graduate TJ seniors with representing the "last opportunity of a grown-up to make [them] squirm," but he made his points with a veil of humor.

"...Goof off, act like a fool." As for problems, you can "run a lot faster, a lot harder while you're young," he said, stipulating that "real success is a product of failure." He got a laugh when he said that they "didn't want to be perfect," that all they would be is "boring...like Barak Obama."

He warned them about treating the rain forest better than treating their mothers. "Be careful about making the world a better place," he said. "Emotions won't alter a rising sea level" and there's "no merit in being charitable with other people's money."

In suggesting that "a lot of people care just to make themselves feel important," he said, that he was encouraging substance not apathy and the need to acquire knowledge on the subject in question. For that O'Rourke with a master's in English from Johns Hopkins University, said to "get a useless education" in art, literature and philosophy and to expose themselves "to a whole bunch of dead people"

On the topic of politics he said that political involvement in and of itself was wrong. He said that 50% of people were under average intelligence [this might be generous] and consequently was a reflection on rule by a democracy. He said he "hates all politics."

Who wants a stable Iraq?, he asked, and added that a bi-partisan consensus was "frightening" and that the "government can't even run a post office."

Politics is all about fairness. "I hate fairness," he said. "Pray to God things don't start getting fair." [You might note that he once defined "Liberalism" as a "philosophy of sniveling brats."]

This led him to embrace a key Libertarian principle: there's nothing wrong with having too much money. "Those who create wealth are those who make us wealthy," he said, giving the example of a hedge fund manager whose income might put $250,000,000 in the public coffers as compared to someone reducing the carbon footprint. [This obviously is untenable to those who place a greater value on preserving the environment rather than less or no government control over business practices.]

"Money can't buy happiness but it can rent it" were O'Rourke's final words to the commencement audience.

Remarks to media about private school vs. public school education

Prefacing that he had three children in private school

Although he didn't mention that private schools have their own bureaucracies, O'Rourke said attending private schools was better than being burdened by the bureaucracy inherent in public schools.

Why O'Rourke isn't a Democrat

O'Rourke believes that the first duty in life is to feed and care for oneself. However, he called attention to an increasing reliance on other people to solve one's problems, especially amongst members of his own Baby Boomer generation.

Tell those FEMA people to get the hell out of here," he quipped in reference to their assistance after the devastation caused by recent tornadoes.

As for the failings of the Democrats he says they have no answers, they just bring up issues.

Can of worms

Occupying Iraq was a flawed decision, according to O'Rourke who said he had seen firsthand the devastation of war. Not having people on the ground to restore the disrupted infrastructure of Iraq gave tremendous advantage to the opposing forces, he said.

What to do now?, he asked himself. "It's above my pay rate," was his response. Of course, that lack of a suggestion has a familiar monetary ring.

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